Drama is something that should only be experienced or witnessed on the silver screen at the movie theater, on television, or on the stage of a Broadway play. Drama has no place in the life of someone who is striving to live a life that is characterized by happiness and fulfillment. Can you think of someone in your life that seems to always have some type of personal drama playing out in their life? People who are always saturated in some type of personal drama in their life are typically unhappy, restless, unfulfilled, and for the most part, miserable people. Nobody wants to be around a person who is always playing out some sort of drama because people that live life like that will suck the life out of you! Right about now, you may be thinking of a few people in your life that fall into this category of “perpetual drama dwellers.” Maybe at times, this person has been you. How do we avoid becoming a person whose life is buried in drama? If personal drama has always seemed to chase you down and overwhelm you, how do you break the cycle of living life in such a self-destructive manner? I am sure that if you were to ask 100 different people for their opinions on this subject, you would get nearly 100 different answers or pieces of advice. Perhaps there is no definitive RIGHT way to avoid becoming a “drama queen” (or king). There are a few habits that you can incorporate into your life that will certainly help. Over the next few minutes, I would like to share 5 things that you can start doing right now that will help you avoid falling into the trap of making drama a part of your life.
- Stop being concerned about what others think about you. As callous as this may sound, it is one of the absolute best things that you can do to avoid falling into a life characterized by personal drama. I can honestly say that as a young man in my late teens and early twenties, I spent a great deal of time worrying what others thought about me. I worried about their thoughts concerning what I was doing, where I worked, where I lived, what I drove, what clothes I wore …..the list goes on and on. It wasn’t until I reached my late twenties that I had a light bulb moment in which I realized that I was far more concerned about what people thought about me and not nearly concerned enough about what GOD thought about me. I was living my life trying to win the approval of people around me, and it got exhausting. I simply got fed up trying to win in that game, and I said to myself, “As long as I am doing what is pleasing to God, I DON’T CARE what others thing about me! No matter how you choose to live your life, or what you choose to do in life, there are always going to be people that will criticize you. Some people in life are very shallow and may think less of you if you don’t maintain the “appearances of success” that appeal to their materialistic natures. This is why countless numbers of people have fallen into financial ruins. Many people have amassed huge amounts of debt to buy things they can’t afford in an attempt to impress or gain the approval of others. Don’t let yourself fall into that trap! Just start following your dreams and talk about starting that business that you’ve always dreamed of, and see how many people start to criticize you and tell you that you cant do that! People with no goals, dreams, or vision are unsuccessful, and they don’t want you to succeed either! STOP CARING ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK!
- Learn to appreciate what you have. Too many people in life today fail to realize how blessed and fortunate they actually are. People all over America today are living with the mentality that says, “I’ll be happy when….” People often tend to make their happiness contingent upon certain things occurring in their life, thinking that if the thing that they are hoping for happens, they will all the sudden be happy. The truth is, until you DECIDE to be happy, you never will be, regardless of what happens in your life. In the Bible in Philippians chapter 4 the Apostle Paul said, “Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” There are people who have won the lottery and were bankrupt a few short years later! Did their windfall of money suddenly turn them into happy people? Perhaps for a very short time it did. It is important that regardless of what your situation is right now that you make the decision to be happy! If you fail to do this, you will go through life always feeling like a victim of your circumstances. People who spend their lives feeling like they have been victimized all of their life are chronic complainers, ungrateful, and very pessimistic. People like that make lousy friends! You don’t want to be around a person like that, and certainly don’t want to be one!
- Don’t allow others to suck you into their drama party. How much drama a person allows to characterize their life is largely determined by the company that they keep. We have to choose to love some people at a distance. Not everyone in life is a person that you are going to want to do life with. Most people who stumble through life always dealing with some type of personal drama are negative and unhappy people, and they want others to feel their pain. If you hang around the host of a drama party long enough, they are going to want you to help them decorate for the party and invite more guests! DON”T GET INVOLVED! STAY AWAY! If you want to be a happy, successful, positive, and upbeat kind of person, seek out people that exhibit those types of qualities! Learn from them and do the things that they do. Whatever you do, don’t allow the people who always have some type of personal drama happening in their life to have space in your head! Their way of thinking will get you all messed up!
- Choose to focus on what is positive instead of what is broken. One of the keys to keeping drama out of your life is to consciously focus on all the things in your life that you are thankful for and those things that are good. Everyone has problems that they are facing in their life. We all have situations in our lives that are not necessarily ideal, but we can choose not to focus on the negative. If you start to focus too much on your problems and the things that you wish were better or different, you begin to lose sight of all of the blessings that you actually have. When this happens, it’s easy to develop that victim mentality that will drag you down into depression and despair. You have heard the analogy of looking at the glass as either half empty or half full. I say, be thankful that you have a glass and that there is some water in it! Whatever your situation is now, know that it won’t ALWAYS be the way it is now. The good thing about trials in life is that they come and go. They don’t last forever. Set your focus on what is good and don’t dwell on what is broken. I like what the Apostle Paul said in Philippians 4:8. He said, “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” Those are words to live by!
- Let go of the past and what you cannot change. One thing that will keep a person imprisoned in a life of drama is trying to change what has happened in the past. Obviously, we can’t undo what has been done and what has occurred in the past years of our lives. All of us have had things happen in our past that have left us wounded and scarred, but those things don’t have to define who we are. When you try to change things that cannot be changed or try to fix things that only God can change, you will be left feeling emotionally exhausted, and you will feel like a failure. Every day that you wake up you have a brand new opportunity to make your life better! What your life has the potential to become has absolutely nothing to do with what your life has been. You have to start from today! The only time that you should ever look back is to see how far you’ve come. Forget the past. Maybe you were abused as a child. Maybe you went through an ugly divorce. You may have had any number of unfortunate events take place in your life, but you’re still here. If you weren’t, you would not be reading this. The question is, “Where do you go from here?” It is NEVER too late to start over and make the rest of your life the BEST of your life. You don’t have to live life as the prisoner of drama and the victim of your past.
I hope some of the thoughts about keeping drama from infiltrating your life have at least made you think. I am a firm believer that we can decide how happy, successful, and fulfilled that we want to be. Personal drama that continually plays out in a person’s life will always keep them from reaching their dreams and becoming the person that God meant for them to be. There is happiness to be found and people around you waiting to be helped and encouraged by you. You can become a difference maker in the world around you. Let go of the drama and go out there and make a difference.
Thanks for reading!
Until next time,